Y e n ' s B l o g ♥

Friday, January 7, 2011 { 10:33:00 PM }

The moment you decided to ignore me for just 3days made me realize a lot of stuff.

& when I confronted you on the 4th day, you said you haven't let go of the past yet; you said it was hard for you.

All this time.. All this time you were only pretending to be happy with me.
Everything we've been through... gone just like that. Did it mean anything to you? At all?

I thought I could make up for all the mistakes I've done to you. But everything meant nothing to you.

I give up. I'm done trying. I'm done convincing myself that what we have is real. Lets just give up now.

I can't do this anymore. Its too much. If you need time and space, I can give you that, but I wont be there when you're back and okay. Not anymore.

Lets face it, we've had one, two chances too many. Its not working anymore.

Thursday, November 18, 2010 { 7:32:00 PM }

How long will I refuse to see the signs?

Have you noticed that no matter what we do,
no matter how hard we try, we always end up getting hurt,
and our hearts' break even more.

We swear to never fight again but we still do.
We promised to never hurt each other again but we still do.

How long can we do this?
How long can we endure the pain?
Is the pain still worth it?

This relationship was once our refuge,
our sanctuary, our hiding place from all the pain,
but this relationship have become our problem
It became the pain.

We have made a big, deep wound in our hearts
Is it still worth healing?
or is it better to leave it and let it heal by itself.
Because it will but it would take a lot of time. A LOT
but the time would be worth it.

I know how terrible I am as a person.
but you're not so good yourself.
You constantly push me to be the person that I avoid to be.

I don't get angry that often,
but you make me reach my boiling point quicker.
& although I constantly try to become a better person,
to be a role model for you, you still choose to go your way

I have my pride, higher than the Eiffel Tower.
and nobody could break that pride, not even you.

No one and i mean, NO ONE could make me do something
that I dont want to do, again, not even you.

I have a mind of my own, if I dont want to be friends with someone
no one can make me, not even you.

If I am angry with someone, no one can tame me.
& only I can decide what I want to do when my anger goes away

I am no robot. I may not have full control of myself.
but I still can control myself.
I don't need you to tell me what to do with my life.

It is ironic of me to constantly say the quote

" dont make decisions when youre angry"

to people when I myself do decisions when Im furious.

but hey, I'm only human.
I aint perfect, you know.

I commit mistakes, maybe always
but at least I try to avoid doing those mistakes.

I have a lot of thinking to do.